Jacob’s Story

I’ve learned something new about myself over the past 4 years.  Like most girls, from a young age, I dreamed of being a Mommy {although there was a time when my friend Leora and I were going to have a house filled with animals and no guys or kids}.  While I’ve always knew that I wanted to be a Mommy, I never knew the amazing satisfaction, reward and pride that were part of this package deal.  Being a second time Mom puts life in perspective.  I know what’s coming next and I know how tender and quickly fleeting these early moments are.  I find myself just staring at Jake, not wanting to miss a twitch, winced smile or pouty lip.  Perhaps keeping in mind that this may be our “last round” has added to these feelings but I just can’t get enough of him and I also find myself more keenly aware of taking the time to stop to enjoy the smaller moments with Aiden and Chris.  Life is passing by and I think we’re all in the fast lane.  As I learn of the giant spaces that were reserved in my heart for these three amazing little men, I am amazed that with each new blessing I am lucky to have effortlessly learned a greater love.  The spaces in my heart, once empty, are brimming beyond belief with the amazing love that motherhood has gifted to me.

And without further ado, here is Jake’s story…

While we can’t control a lot of things in life, I am still one of those people that like to think and make my best attempt at being in control.  At all times.  As you know from reading about the final weeks of my pregnancy, I was ready.  So very ready to meet our little man.  Well, that is until the moment when I realized that maybe, just maybe these contractions were the real deal.  Reality set in.  Anxiety set in.  And…. I was suddenly not so sure I was ready.  Personally, my biggest fear was thinking I was in labor only to be sent home full bellied and empty handed. And for my family, I worried about how the boys would react.  Change isn’t easy for any kiddos and I knew it would break me to see them hurting or feeling Jake took something away from them.

That special Thursday started out like a typical Thursday.  The boys and I packed up and headed out early as normal headed to Hartford.  I had been feeling a few contractions but didn’t realize the change in intensity until I was out for my morning walk.  While out, I knew maybe my time was nearing as I found myself having to take a “break” from my walk because of my discomfort.  We made it home for lunch and I was lucky enough to convince the boy that two Thomas episodes would be a good idea.  I in the meantime, feeling guilty about not enjoying my last few hours with my two big boys, laid on the couch like a dead beat mom.  The TV was short lived and we moved on to more active play while I looked at the clock nervously realizing that my contractions were now 2-5 minutes apart.  I had a few other indications of labor but still wasn’t convinced. 

Around 4:30 I called Mike to give him a heads up that he might want to bring his computer home from work but not to get excited or rush home.  It’s a good thing he’s not a good listener.  He headed home immediately and by the time he arrived, I was a bit more convinced about the reality and a bit more anxious.  Mike called Mamie {his mom} to make sure she was around and available and she headed over around 5:30. 

After calling the OB, they recommended we head to the hospital, checking in at 7 pm. After getting decked out in the oh so elegant hospital jams, we sat and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  A half hour must have passed before we were attended to.  Were they busy?  By my count, it was me and 2 other women in there... You be the judge…  I settled in and they attached the contraction monitor, making the experience “real.”  As we sat and waited, my discomfort continued to elevate.  Upon first being checked {about an hour after arriving}, my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and I was 4-5 cm dilated.  We finally got the green light that we were there to stay and this was the real deal.  As we sat and waited to be moved to the labor and delivery floor, time seemed to stop. When asked, I requested an epidural, knowing that the process could take a while and wouldn’t be effective immediately.  We were moved to the second floor by 9:15 pm (still no epidural) at which time, they got me into a bed and left the room.  Within about 10-15 minutes my water broke and the epidural wasn’t looking so promising.  No nurses or Dr.’s to be found, Mike decided to go on the hunt and informed them that we might be ready to have our baby.  As my Dr. wasn’t available, “Dr. Madonna” came to check me and found that I was 9-10 cm dilated, fully effaced and ready to go. My first remark was “so I’m not getting an epidural?”  No one want to be the one to tell the woman in labor no but the reality was that there just wasn’t time. We are still not sure who Dr. Madonna was but at that point, we were just thankful to have someone that seemed to know what they were doing present.  As she scurried to get dressed, the room quickly filled with nurses and I could no longer wait.  Feeling a strong urge to push, they were less than pleased with me but this baby was coming NOW….. and NO I couldn’t wait!  Jacob was born within 5 minutes, and yes, you may hate me…. 3 pushes later.  I was so thankful to have a quick labor and will now no longer wonder what it feels like to have a natural labor and delivery.  There is nothing quite like the moment that you're about to meet your baby and mere seconds separate you from one of the single greatest, most love-filled moments of your life.  These memories and moments….  I will have forever.  These are the moments that I will look back on both during the trying and glorious times.  I will always remember what it felt like to be handed my son--how quickly and deeply that love began and how amazing it felt to welcome him into our family.

Within seconds of arrival, Jacob let us know he was here and all was well.  He arrived, crying and ready to cuddle.  One of the best sounds to any new Mom and such a relief after our experiences with Chris and Aiden. The baby that we had dreamed of, felt move and imagined meeting and holding for the first time was finally here. He was immediately placed on my chest and what a feeling.  This being a first for me, I was in my glory and really didn’t care too much about what was going on around me.  Jake was perfect and I couldn’t help but stare... all night long…. all week long… {Until exhaustion set in!}  We did “kangaroo care” for an hour and a half while they tended to my other needs.  I attempted nursing and with great success.  Life was good.  Life is good.  If hearts could smile, mine was beaming and I began to looked forward to becoming a new family. What a treasure these days are.

If we’re being honest, the days in the hospital were long boring.  We were so thankful for visitors but longed to be outside, enjoying the sunshine and our big boys.  Aiden and Chris spent Thursday night with Mamie and Grandpa and met us at the hospital mid-day Friday to meet their new little brother for the first time.  They were far more interested in the ambulances that were bustling outside our window but thankfully have settled into their new roles and are adjusting well since.  Grammie and Dziadzu were also visiting mid-day Friday and did a big boy swap, bringing them home to Belchertown Friday – Sunday afternoon.  Aiden and Chris were in good hands the entire time and didn’t miss us in the least.

Mike and I were anxious to be released and while they wanted us to stay Thursday night – Sunday morning, we asked {with our best manners} if there was any way we could go home late Saturday night instead.  The pediatrician agreed and we were more than thrilled to have an extra night at home to start settling into our new routine without the big boys being home yet. Sunday morning we relaxed, stayed in our PJ’s and awaited our visitors coming to meet Jacob for the first time and the return of Aiden and Chris. 

We were thrilled to have Juliet, Leeanne, Heather, Jen, Auntie Laura, Mamie, Grandpa, Grammie, Dziadzu, Aiden and Chris keep us company in the hospital.  We were also excited for Jacob to meet Auntie Sarah, Uncle Jerry, Aunt Lynda, Uncle Dave, cousin Chris, Great Grammie Tag & GG Mimi for the first time on Sunday.  He has officially been welcomed!

Upon arriving home, Aiden and Chris weren’t too sure about their little brother.  Grammie was commenting on how sweet baby Jacob was and Aiden replied “if you like him so much then you can take him home.”  The days since we all arrived home have been much smoother.  Aiden and Chris adore Jake and we hear a lot of “I love you baby Jacob,” “You’re the best baby in the world,” “Hello little cutie.”  It melts my heart.  The snappiness is saved for Mike and I and we are glad to accept it over experiencing baby resentment.  Aiden and Chris enjoy helping on their own terms and are good about singing to make Jake feel happier or can be found with their faces as close as can be so Jakey can see them.  They have big plans for him in the weeks, months and years ahead.  He is one lucky, loved little man.

Mike took Friday and Monday off from work and returned to work on Tuesday on an abbreviated schedule for a few days.  It was great having him home for the first few days.  We had a family day on Monday and kept the boys out of school the Friday and Monday after delivery.  It was wonderful having a quiet, relaxing day at home, enjoying our new family.  Getting everyone out of the house by 7:15 has proven to be a bit hectic but we’re making it work and looking forward to summer even more so.  My time in the morning with Jake is very unpredictable and spent mainly nursing {hidden in the back of the car… still trying to figure out the finesse of it all!}  I adore those 3 hours as they are often the only quiet 3 hours that I get to focus on the little man. I can’t seem to get enough of him and I love more than anything having him snuggle into my chest for the night. Our life is brimming with blessings and we are so very thankful for everyone's love, support and encouragement.

I’ll share a few of the special moments in the hospital that my amazing friend Heather captured for us. I can’t thank her enough….Enjoy!