Day Two

While there are days that I’ve felt tested to the max, I like busy, I like crazy, I like a challenge.  Today is day two of kindergarten.  Our days are different… very different.  The quiet makes me long for the crazy until the crazy arrives and then I question what’s really ideal.

The boys jumped off the bus yesterday with countless things to share and so much enthusiasm.  It was perfect.  What every new school age Mom would hope for.  My heart is happy yet a piece of me feels empty. I find myself looking at the clock several times each hour wondering what they’re up to and who they’re playing with, confident that they’re making us proud but wishing I could be a witness.  I miss those challenging questions and conversations that occurred all day long.  I miss the constant requests to play games or play pretend.  I miss the stage where they wanted to be my shadow.  Those days have come and gone oh so quickly and poor Jake is left to fill those gaps solo for 7 1/2 hours a day.

This morning it was a battle over why they couldn’t watch TV and why they needed to finish their fruit with breakfast.  They left disappointed that I didn’t wash their outfit from yesterday for a repeat today.  But today they jumped off the bus, happy as a clam and with so much to share.  Life is good, school is good and we’re all settling in…. some of us {Momma} may just be a tad bit slower than others.

And as for Jake…. He’s not sure what to do with himself.  We spent the early afternoon at the playground today where he longingly watched big kid, hoping to catch their eye and waving as they buzzed past him.  He adores and misses his big brothers and he while he loves the one on one attention, he’s learning to play a new role and not so sure of it himself.  I know he loves his Momma yet longs to feel big.  Slow down little buddy… this Momma can has far too many cuddles left to share!